01.25.2008

とりとめもなく近況報告

うん。わかってる。
というかわかっていたのだと思う。
それに気づかない「フリ」をしていただけなのだと思う。
それに気づいてしまったのだとしたら、それはもうやるしかない。
保険をかけたって仕方ないものね。
保険をかけたって、裏切られるか、保険をかけたことすら忘れてしまうかのどちらかだもの。
「パーン!」と鳴った瞬間に、モノゴトは動き始めるし、実際に動いているのだし。
そしてその「パーン!」はいつくるかもわからないし、毎日起こっているとも言えるのだから。
要はそれをどうやって切り取るかが問題なんだよ。
切り取って、ペタッと心のなかに貼ってみて、
それがいいのか、わるいのか。
自分にフィットしているのかどうか。
それはもう感じるしかない。
そしてそういう自分もどんどん変わっていくもんだから、あきらめざるを得ない。
何が本当かなんて。
ただ、じっと心の声に耳をすまして
それが「鳴ったとき」に動き出せばいいんだとおもう。
だってリスクなんてしょって当たり前じゃないか。

ねえ?

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コメント from: naruseus [訪問者] メール
yes!
2008/01/25 @ 21:41
コメント from: noske [訪問者] メール
タケさんの言うのとはちょっとニュアンス違うかもしれませんが、私は自分の言葉を自分でキャッチ出来なくなるのが、一番後々に響く疲れを残します。けれど、これは性格なのでしょうか。いつも何処かで忙しなく口が回転しています。

そんなとき、「呼吸を整える」ために、一人で居たくなります。感情の動きを緩めて、凹凸を静かに併せる感覚で。

自分のブログにタケさんのリンク張っておきました。
2008/01/27 @ 00:41
コメント from: takeshi [メンバー] メール
二人ともありがとうです!

>naruseus
その一言で安心したぜ!

>noske
>私は自分の言葉を自分でキャッチ出来なくなるのが、一番後々に響く疲れを残します。

なるほど。
俺はあまりそういう感覚がないなー。
でも確かに君を見ていると納得、だね。
だって、がんばっているもの。
しゃべるのに疲れたときは、他人にしゃべらせればいいのさ。

>そんなとき、「呼吸を整える」ために、一人で居たくなります。感情の動きを緩めて、凹凸を静かに併せる感覚で。

あぁ。その感覚はわかります。
この文章を書いていたときはそんな感じだったな。

>自分のブログにタケさんのリンク張っておきました。

ありがとうございますm(。。)m
私のほうでも張っておきますね!
2008/01/28 @ 22:20
コメント from: noske [訪問者] メール
やべぇ、、、。その他人に喋らせる術を是非とも今後の学習課題とします。シリアスに。。。苦笑
2008/01/29 @ 00:49
コメント from: takeshi [メンバー] メール
あはは(笑)
そうだね~。
きっとあなたは責任感が強いんだと思います。
それ自体は全然悪いことじゃないですよ。

ただ、きっとそれで疲れてしまうんじゃないかなぁと思います。

ひとくちに他人にしゃべらせるというのも自分ではうまく説明できないけど
相手を信頼することじゃないかなぁ。
信頼して相手に任せることだと思います。

なんてね。
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