He always searchs for something.
He never knows what it is.
But he dives into a darkness of the night, with all night long.
Sometimes he searches for it in the Net.
Sometimes he searches for it in music.
And, sometimes he searches for it in cigarette and whisky.
But he has never find.
The feelings of shortage is keeping to knock on him.
Sometimes, he realizes he cannot get it in his hand with eternity.
But he cannot stop it, like addiction.
He apparently seems to be happy.
He has good friends, good colleague and he is surrounded by warm family.
He doesn’t worry about his life economicaly and he also graduated a university.
There is no matter for him in his whole life.
Sure, he is so happy.
But he dosen’t really know the reason why he feels someting is lacking in himself.
This is like wave, going forward and going back, again and again.
But he realized this turn is serious for him since three years ago.
Because he has already experienced same situation.
And then, lonliness comes to him.
He gets mentally independent from everything.
You may well call solitude.
He tries to be alone.
And he wanna make it secret.
It might be a feeling of being disappear.
In a symbolic meaning, it is more like death,
though it is absolutely not sucide and not physical death.
But recently, he gets to know that he want, from deep insde,
to realize he is not alone in this world,
and percieves of someone beside him.
But there is a huge wall dividing the each individuals.
Therefore, as a same time he realized that thing, he knew it will not be fullfill even in the future that.
But on the other hand,
therefore, he sympathizes the other’s sadness of life and lonliness and he believes the strongness and weakness of human being like two sides of a coin.
That’s why human being can connect with each other.
It is more like that human beings become like “a” human being.
It is “unite".
Anyway, he have to fight against the shadow of himself and by himself.
It is life. It never ends. It’s going on.